Louis C.K. (via 30thcenturyboy)
Slavery in the territory that is now the United States lasted more than 330 years. We will be 330 years removed from slavery in the year 2195.
Money shredding alarm clock gives you a real incentive to wake the fuck up
Are you too heavy on the snooze button? Need a real, tangible reason to wake up I’m the morning? How about an alarm clock that starts shredding your money if you don’t wake up in time? Granted, you can be a puss and not actually load it up with money, but then what’s the point? This is just a prototype, but you can already buy something similar from ThinkGeek… an alarm clock that is connected to your credit or debit card that automatically donates money to your least favorite charity if you don’t get up. Sleeping late has never been so cruel.
Jenna gets a picture message from Josh and decides we should all open it together!
today i got to see my bff for the first time since we became bffs! he got to meet my dog, and my dog had a lot to say about it.
I had a great time visiting Oswego and here is the PROOF
Doing open mic tomorrow when I land in Syracuse. I haven’t been doing stand up much at all lately, so I’m shaking from.nerves. But you know what they say, if you fall off your horse, buy lemons.
|—||Aubrey Plaza (via juliepowers)|
Maurice Moss Wants To Be The 12th Doctor. We Are Perfectly Okay With This.
I am writing to inform you that I am available to take over immediately as the next Doctor. I’ll even bring my own sonic screwdriver (mine actually works).
Looking forward to hearing from you.
I’d personally love to have Richard Ayoade play The Doctor if only to give us brown-skinned folk someone cool to cosplay as at conventions.
Do the right thing, BBC. Do. The right. Thing.
First look at Peter Dinklage in ‘X-Men: Days of Future Past’
If you’re wondering, he’s playing Bolivar Trask, a military scientist, creator of the Sentinals and a very anti-mutant politician. In the comics, he’s not a wee person, but fuck you, it’s Peter Dinklage. Dinklage can do whatever the fuck he wants.
If any nerds whine about this, you’ll be licking my elbow while I reach into your mouth to pull out your LUNGS
“Hey man, take my picture!”
“I can’t do it. It’s too dark.”
“Yeah, we need some light. Let’s go over there.”
“Are you homeless?”
“Yes, I am.”
“How long have you been homeless?”
“15 years. I’ve been in Boston 8 months. Before that I was in Washington, Virginia, New York, Philadelphia, Louisiana, Florida…”
“Why didn’t you stay in Florida? It’s so much warmer.”
“I wanted to see my family. But they don’t want to see me. They don’t understand depression. They treat me like dirt. Homeless people treat me better than my family.”
“And what happened 15 years ago? How did you end up on the streets?”
“I tried to burn myself twice. I had 30 surgeries. I was dead two times, but God brought me back. I don’t know why.”
“And why did you do it?”
“I was depressed. Why you crying?”
“Because you are a beautiful person, and my family is really messed up, and I’ve been very depressed. I think I can understand you.”
“Yes, I am a good person. And when you take people’s pictures, don’t disrespect them.”
“No, man, I won’t. I like people. That’s why I take their pictures.”
“And when you make your portfolio, don’t denigrate people. Let the pictures speak for themselves.”
“I will. Are you safe on the streets?”
“Yes, I am…And now I have $8 to buy me some food.”
“That’s all I have. Next time I see you, I will give you more.”
“No, man. It ain’t all about money. Give me a hug. And next time you see me, give me a hug again. And thanks for taking my picture.”
in the parent trap there were 2 lohan twins but now there’s only 1????? makes you think
Lindsay Weir (Freaks and Geeks), Rae (My Mad Fat Diary), Peggy Olson (Mad Men)
Nick Miller (New Girl), Toby Ziegler (West Wing), Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
Liz Lemon (30 Rock), Monica Geller (Friends), Jane…
Spongebob Squarepants, Butters (South Park), and Quagmire (Family Guy)
Bugs Bunny & Daffy Duck 10 hour hunting season argument
This is an allegory for politics.