July 2012
50 posts
5 tags
Friend: I might camwhore for money.
Me: Well this site is pretty good.
Ex-Friend: Hmm. I don't want you to see me. Unless you pay $500.
Jul 31st
hortonhearsadoctorwho: joemoeschmoe: hortonhearsadoctorwho: joemoeschmoe: hortonhearsadoctorwho: joemoeschmoe: When did Summer become less cynical than me for comic book movies? I AM FURIOUS LISTEN, JOSH. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DUMB THINGS DOWN FOR THE NORMAL AUDIENCE BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT GET IT UNLESS IT’S SPELT OUT FOR THEM. YES BECAUSE IF THERE’S ONE THING NOLAN DOES WITH HIS...
Jul 31st
8 notes
hortonhearsadoctorwho: joemoeschmoe: hortonhearsadoctorwho: joemoeschmoe: When did Summer become less cynical than me for comic book movies? I AM FURIOUS LISTEN, JOSH. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DUMB THINGS DOWN FOR THE NORMAL AUDIENCE BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT GET IT UNLESS IT’S SPELT OUT FOR THEM. YES BECAUSE IF THERE’S ONE THING NOLAN DOES WITH HIS MOVIES, IT’S DUMB THEM DOWN SIGH SIGHS...
Jul 31st
8 notes
hortonhearsadoctorwho: joemoeschmoe: When did Summer become less cynical than me for comic book movies? I AM FURIOUS LISTEN, JOSH. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DUMB THINGS DOWN FOR THE NORMAL AUDIENCE BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT GET IT UNLESS IT’S SPELT OUT FOR THEM. YES BECAUSE IF THERE’S ONE THING NOLAN DOES WITH HIS MOVIES, IT’S DUMB THEM DOWN
Jul 31st
8 notes
When did Summer become less cynical than me for comic book movies? I AM FURIOUS
Jul 31st
8 notes
Anonymous asked: Why won't you admit to using your other blog? Is it too embarrassing?
Jul 30th
Anonymous asked: No this other one of yours I found besides this one seems pretty active and pretty distasteful if I'm honest
Jul 29th
1 note
polosforhomos: inthehangingtree: neverbirds: getnothingdone: has anyone noticed we brits literally take nothing seriously #we parachuted our queen into the olympic stadium #we made hundreds of Mary Poppins’ battle Voldemort is it a little late to bring in the boston tea party because you guys took that pretty harsh
Jul 28th
36,848 notes
Just enjoy the Boner.
Jul 28th
2 notes
Jul 28th
256,668 notes
1 tag
Anonymous asked: Seems like you use this one
Jul 28th
1 note
Anonymous asked: I found your other blog
Jul 28th
Jul 28th
373 notes
Fact: You can’t make a car that can power itself due to America’s laws, because it is a danger to this country’s security. Not that I know anyone who tried. GET OUT OF MY TUMBLR, YOU FED BASTARDS
Jul 28th
Jul 27th
40,140 notes
How do I tell my boss to not say the phrase “Don’t Jew me down” to customers without him getting defensive…
Jul 26th
1 note
ListenListen
Jul 24th
1 note
3 tags
Jul 24th
1 note
1 tag
Jul 24th
1 note
Jul 23rd
1 note
My boss’s most recent ex-girlfriend started texting me at 4 AM about all the cheating messages she found in his Facebook, and I wanted to reply “THAT’S NOT TRUE, I READ ALL HIS MESSAGES WHEN I’M BORED AT WORK” but I didn’t.
Jul 23rd
2 notes
jessicaaalert: UGGGGGGGGG
jessicaaalert: BFF
jessicaaalert: HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN JIZZ IN A GIRLS EAR
Jul 23rd
2 notes
*cruising through Tumblr, overlooking friend sees an Avengers post*
Friend: Who's Loki?
Me: ... What?
Ex-Friend: Who's Loki?
Me: The... God of Chaos, you told me you watched Avengers.
Ex-Friend: I did!
Me: OBVIOUSLY YOU DIDN'T!
Ex-Friend: I just forgot that guy's name!
Me: THAT GUY HIS NAME IS LOKI
Jul 23rd
2 notes
1 tag
“At this point, Nolan represents the ideal director: someone who can make...”
– Cracked
Jul 20th
14 notes
1 tag
TEN people shot dead as masked gunman opens fire... →
Jul 20th
32 notes
Jul 20th
1 tag
Thinking about cosplaying as Harley Quinn. Now I just need a female Joker.
Jul 19th
1 note
1 tag
WatchWatch
Jul 19th
83,956 notes
“I shit dildos, you dinosaur fucker.”
– a text from Josh I can’t believe you didn’t put the context.
Jul 18th
1 note
“WHY DOES BENDER ALWAYS GET SHIT ON? WHY DOESN’T EVERYONE JUST GIVE HIM THE...”
– Bff
Jul 18th
1 tag
Jul 18th
2,625 notes
3 tags
WatchWatch
There’s a split second where celery with googly eyes wiggles around. I am that celery.
Jul 18th
Jul 15th
My first heckler ended up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning. Awkwardly laughing my ass off.
Jul 15th
tinctures asked: I CAN'T. I'M ENTERTAINING.
Jul 14th
1 note
rockonscubatron: omg josh has a friend on facebook named Kelly Green i would have murdered my parents why why would you do that
Jul 14th
4 notes
1 tag
rockonscubatron: im upset because i want to hang out with a couple buddies and one had a really bad day and the other i think just got off work and i juST WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU so i texted one because we always meet at his house and i want him to text me back TEXT ME BACK GODDAMNIT I immediately texted Jenna to make her think they replied. I knew this would hurt her, but I did it anyway....
Jul 11th
6 notes
Whenever someone in all seriousness claims straight men and straight women can’t be real friends, I shit blood in anger, because with that same logic, bisexuals can’t have any friends.
Jul 11th
1 note
Jul 10th
16,342 notes
4 tags
My brother doesn't react to anything much:
Me: "I have an awful favor to ask."
Brother: "Okay."
Me: "I have a friend possibly killing themselves, and I need a ride so we can check on them."
Brother: "Okay." *grabs his keys and slowly stands up*
Jul 10th
1 note
6 tags
Jul 7th
Jul 6th
356 notes
1 tag
Jul 6th
2,634 notes
1 tag
Well fuck DICKS
Friend: Do you have Facetime? Me: No, that’s not on Android. Friend: Well can I call you on my cousin’s Skype? Me: Yeah, sure, what’s their user name? Friend: *gives a phone number* Me: I can’t add that. Friend: *gives an user name* Me: This is a couple in New Zealand. Friend: *gives an email address* Me: I can invite them TO Skype. Friend: Arg, let me make my...
Jul 6th
1 tag
Jul 4th
2 notes
7 tags
Jul 4th
1 tag
More Work
Me: Is that the boss on the phone?
Coworker: Yes. He's not coming in. He was in a car accident.
Me: I have to talk to him.
Me: Hey bitch, what did you do with my popcorn? I'm having the worst day.
Jul 3rd
1 tag
Work
Me: Thank god you're here. I was having the worst day at work.
Friend: What happened?
Me: My coworker just got killed my a spider, and I'm out of coal.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: This is Minecraft. Pay attention, my life is hard.
Jul 3rd
WatchWatch
iwasnineteeeen: dysfunctionalbubble: minorfour: just-a-skinny-boy: Embracing your status as a meme: You’re doing it right. its weird. i stared at this and my eye’s turned all wide and creepy and shit xD I was actually kind of freaked out halfway through. I would fuck the shit out of this chick.
Jul 3rd
44,295 notes
Jul 1st